Consider the Lilies..: 2017   

Dec 14, 2017


I'm sick.  Let me tell you, being sick when you have a super mutant autoimmune disease is pretty freaken' awesome.  On the rare occasion that you do get sick, you're only sick for about a day and you barely notice that you're sick.
But being sick when you have a super mutant autoimmune disease and taking monthly infusions of biologics means that when you get sick, you get sick for real.
Oh my gosh people, you are all my heroes!  For reals!  If this is how you feel every time you get sick, I don't know how you go on with your day.
Ugh, this is horrible!
Plus I spilled steaming hot water from the humidifier down my shirt and burned myself.
Blisters and everything.
AwesomeMan got me a bunch of stuff to make me feel better as well as a COLD air humidifier that changes colors.  

Based on my buying history - three books by John Owen, a Charles Spurgeon study bible, Puritan Theology, and a book about Martin Luther - Amazon recommends that I purchase a few books by Joyce Meyer.
I have absolutely no idea how anyone could come to that conclusion.

Dr R.C. Sproul died today. 
I'm sad and happy at the same time.
I've learned a ton from him in the last few years.

It's a lame blog post but I'm going back to bed..

Dec 12, 2017


 “We curate our lives around this perceived sense of perfection because we get rewarded in these short-term signals – Hearts and Likes and Thumbs-Up. We conflate that with value and we conflate that with truth, and instead what it really is is fake brittle popularity that’s short-term, and leaves you even more vacant and empty.”
-Chamath Palihapitiya

Dec 11, 2017

Stuff I'm thinking about..

I think that Jay-Z is one of the most unattractive men I have ever seen. 

Sky bought the dogs an ugly toy. 
They love it. 
I HATE possums. 

I’m sad about R. C. Sproul. 

I can’t find a healthy dog food that Gunner likes. 

I found a way to keep people from approaching me during the ‘turn and greet someone around you’ part of church. 
I'm pretty proud of myself.

Putting wax on parsnips is dumb. 

After 46 weeks my church has finished learning the Book of John. I am sort of bummed but looking forward to whatever is next. 
I asked our pastor what was next and he said “I’m not sure, I was thinking of doing something topical”. 
I’m pretty sure he’s joking.
At least I hope he is. 

If engineers today can come up with cars that drive themselves and drones to deliver mail, I don’t know why no one has come up with a way to prevent rocks from chipping windshields. 

Fresh Thyme Market has the prettiest onions. 
I don’t even want to eat them. I just want to buy a bunch of them because they look so perfect. 

The older Clay gets the more he reminds me of his father. 
I’m totally OK with that. 

After putting three of my favorite pans in the dishwasher for about a year now, I noticed that the bottom of them say “hand wash only”. 
These pans hang on my wall with the bottoms facing outward.

I’m not sure when female news people started dressing like they are going out clubbing instead of reporting the news, 
but I don’t like it. 

Gunner ate one of my brown pens. 

I’ve said it a dozen times and I’m going to say it again, this is the best devotional ever written. 
Seriously, if you don’t have it, buy it.
(just make sure it is the 'collection of Puritan Prayers' and not the other one)
 If you don’t want to buy it, I will buy it for you. 
No joke.

I was listening to Spurgeon today..
“God has myriads of the elect out there, we must go and search for them.”- Charles Spurgeon

Dec 6, 2017

And he went on his way..

I posted on my other blog.
You can read it HERE

It's a Bible post so you don't have to read it.  
I won't take it personally..

Dec 2, 2017

Early again..

I'm starting to think that blogging at 4:30 in the morning is gonna be a thing for me.
My hips were hurting too much to sleep so I got up and made coffee.
Ok, so that's all of the downer stuff..

I'm going to G3 in January!!
It's in Atlanta and I'm going without Clay.

Yep, I'm going to get on a plane and go to a 3 day conference full of hundreds of people without Clay.  CRAZY!
A friend of mine who lives in Florida is going too so we got flights that land within 30 minutes of each other and we are going to share a hotel room.  
I'm super excited.  Some of the speakers are responsible for making me aware of the true gospel; Todd Friel's show Wretched lead me to teachers like Sproul, through whom I learned about the Reformation, which naturally led me to the 'Johns'- Calvin, Owen, and Bunyan and of course Charles Spurgeon.
I learned about John MacArthur through Todd Friel too, who led me to Justin Peters and Paul Washer who were detrimental to my leaving the hyper-charismatic church and joining a true church that does nothing but preach the Bible.
Justin Peters will be speaking there, Voddie Baucham and a bunch of others, but best of all,
Steve Lawson!  

Yeah, Steve Lawson!!
He is at the top of my top 5 best (living) Bible teachers.
Also, they will giving away more free books at this G3 Conference than any other before it!
For reals, FREE books!  
*happy sigh*

OK, second cool thing..
I belong to a little online chatroom (just me and 3 other women) where we talk about discipleship, our kids, pretty much everything..  We decided to do a gift exchange this year.  Julie got my name (she's the one going to the conference) and sent me these-
The whole set of The Treasury of David by Charles Spurgeon!
She remembered that Clay and I are studying Psalm 119 and that I'm a huge Spurgeon nerd (I may have a little bit of hero worship for the guy).
Oh my gosh, best gift ever!

I think I'm gonna take a nap now..

Nov 29, 2017


I've been awake since three.  Well, I got up at three, I was awake before that.  I haven't been sleeping well lately, not even with the Ambien.
So here I am folding socks and watching Mystic Pizza at 4 in the morning.

I had an infusion yesterday and another shot.  They keep giving me shots for anything they can think of as if I'm going to get sick now that I'm on the Remicade but the tests they do every month shows that my immune system is still as super-hyper-active as ever.
I haven't had any problems with my digestive system in weeks but the pain from the Ankylosing Spondylitis hasn't eased up at all (I can finally spell it right!) but yesterday was my first full dose of the biologic and things should get better soon.  My case manager gave me some stretches to do until then and I walk with Gunner even if it hurts.
The B12 shots work for about 3 weeks and I can definitely tell when it's wearing off.  Like now.  I still do everything I need to get done during the day though, I just do it slower.  :)
Clay is a huge help.  I dunno what I'd do without him.
Seizures are one side effect of auto-immune diseases.
My epilepsy is not the result of an injury, so that's one mystery solved.
Have I blogged that already?

He will be officially laid off from Angola in the middle of December.  
My main concern is insurance, but he always manages to take care of things so I'm still not worried yet.  Plus he still has a few options he is working on.

I got a new book!
A friend sent it to me.  I've only read the first 4 pages but I've already learned something so that's pretty cool :)

Well, other than the book, this whole post sounds like a major downer.
Things don't suck though, I promise.
Life it good!

Nov 27, 2017

Arguing internally..

305 people were killed while worshipping inside a mosque in Egypt.  27 of them were children.  People, Christians I know personally, are calling it a "good start".

The the word 'constrained' in the bible means so much more than I thought it did.

 Why is it weird to call someone you've met online a friend?
I mean, you could know someone face-to-face for years and still be in the dark about who they really are. 
*that was the pot calling the kettle black right there*

Once you get close to a real homeless camp and see people living there with your own eyes, it's hard to be comfortable in a warm house and a warm bed without feeling guilty and wanting to do more.
Could this be what compassion is supposed to feel like?
It sucks.

Donald Trump's obnoxious tweets are an embarrassment.  
I miss the good old days when the office of the POTUS still cared about dignity.

This is on Amazon Prime!
It's full of fantastic teachers: Sproul, Thomas, Trueman, Kolb, and Lawson (super fantastic)! 
So many churches tell their people that Martin Luther nailed his 95 thesis to the door, but they don't tell them why, what his true intentions were or what he actually wrote. 
Why is that?

Cauliflower is cheaper, easier to prepare, healthier, and tastes better in casseroles than potatoes or pasta.
For reals- boil it or steam it in some broth for about 5 minutes, season it, add some cream cheese and cheddar and pop it in the oven.
Easy peasy.

We just found out that Canada wants Clay to move there and cut his salary by 40%.
So he has to find a better transfer in about a week or he won't be working for Halliburton anymore.

I saw this when I walked into church yesterday and didn't even get mad like I usually do..
Not gonna say that I'm ok with it or that I support it, but if this is the only thing about my church that bothers me, it's not that big of a deal.

Wait, there is one other thing that sorta bugs me.
Next week the men's group will be starting 'The Institutes of the Christian Religion by John Calvin'.  They will be studying the theology book of all theology books and they will be learning it from a brilliant teacher.  
The women's group will be starting a new study too.  
It's called "Jesus is my friend".
I really shouldn't be annoyed though.  It's not like my church is intentionally keeping the women from learning anything.  It's just that most Christian women don't want to read books that are 1000 pages long, written by a guy who's been dead for over 450 years.  They don't want to study marrow controversies, reformations, confessions, puritan theology, covenant theology and hermeneutics.  

They want friendships, support, community and all that stuff.  It's not really what I want personally but most women do.  
* I have those things, but in an unconventional sort of way
It's how most women are wired, and that's not a bad thing. 
But a couple of us are wired differently.
I don't want to teach, or preach, or be a pastor or anything,  I'm in 100% agreement with what the bible says about women in ministry.  But there's nothing that says we can't learn everything that the men do, or even that we shouldn't want to.  It's just that most women don't want to, or maybe their needs and interests are just in other areas?  But now that I think about it, I know a lot of men who don't want to learn that stuff either.
So I study whatever book Clay's group is studying and then he teaches me everything he learned from the teacher.
I should stop being angry about it and be grateful that I do want to learn it, that I have the tools available to me to learn it, a church that does teach it, and a husband who wants to learn it and teach it to me.

Plus there is a lot of stuff that Christian women are interested in that I'm not. They shouldn't be denied that because of what I want and it's pretty selfish of me to want things to change when the church is providing what all of the other women DO want and need.
I'm glad we worked all that out.

Speaking of Clay..
Isn't he just the best guy ever?

P.S. I'm super bummed about David Platt.

Nov 24, 2017


I got rid of Facebook altogether a few days ago.  Even after unfriending everyone but the people in my reformed theology group there was still posts calling people libtards and stuff. 

We played boardgames for most of the day yesterday.
Clay won almost every game because he's perfect and pretty much everything he does.
It looks like he will be off the Halliburton books around the middle of next month. Hopefully something will come up soon.

Dinner was good.  Sky brought home a 16 pound turkey from work and there was no way our little family of 3 could eat it all so when we made all the sides yesterday we made sure to make way more than we usually would, then we made up a bunch of to-go boxes and took them to the homeless camp.  We handed out all the tarps, scarves, hats, and socks that we had plus a few bibles and soap.  We took a bunch of coats too.  
But there are more people there and at the other camp who need help so if you have anything...
I know I sound like a broken record, but we have so much compared to families who live in shelters made of tarps and cardboard.  Most suburban families have closets so full of sheets and blankets that they have to shove everything just to close the closet door.  
We have extra while they have nothing.  
We aren't asking for money or even asking anyone to go with us, we're just asking for extra stuff that y'all probably don't use anyway or could do without, you don't even have to bring it to us, we'll pick it up.  And if you don't have anything, you probably know someone who does (who knows somebody, and so on).   

Nov 23, 2017

Good morning..

Happy Thanksgiving.

I'm up earlier than I wanted to be this morning but Gunner felt that he needed to warn us of the impending opossum invasion.
I only saw one baby opossum on the fence but I'm sure it was just a scout and there was an army of them just waiting for the right moment to attack.
At least I'm sure that Gunner thought so.

So we did most of the Thanksgiving prep yesterday.
(pie bird, don't make a fruit pie without it!)
The turkey is brining, the pies are done and the stuffing and sweet potato casserole is ready to go in the oven.  I don't do the marshmallow and canned sweet potatoes thing because that's just gross, why does anyone eat canned potatoes anyway?  Bleh..
This year I made the streusel topping with gingersnaps.  It's going to be bomb-diggity!
So all I have to do today is make the green bean casserole; don't use canned stuff for this either, for reals make it from scratch with fresh beans, and the cream corn *cream corn, not creamed corn. Huge difference* so yummy!.

We put the turkey in the brine and the set it on the deck to stay cold but when I looked out the window I saw Gunner standing on the table just about to knock the lid off so Clay went out and secured it.  :)

 My pastor wrote the introduction for this London Confession book.  
He explains why confessions are so important, far better than I could.  
It wasn't until I left my ex-church that I even knew what a confession was and what they were for.
So if you have never read it or if you are like I was and have no idea what it really is and why it's so important let me know.  I'm happy to get one for you.  I'll even ship it to you at no cost.

Sky sent me a picture from work yesterday to prove to me that she was actually following safety procedures for once..
She is running the paint line (as well as running the welding in her department) now so she has been powder coating stuff for the last two days..
She really is the coolest kid on the planet..

Nov 20, 2017


I shaved Clay's mohawk.  
Now he looks even more intimidating.
Go figure..

I ask myself this at least twice a day.
Have you?

My living room looks like a doggy-daycare.
(this was just 30 seconds after I had picked everything up)

I have a LOT of gray hair.
I've given up trying to cover it.

I love lox and bagels.
But dragonfruit is nasty. For real, who eats this stuff?

Saying "share the gospel, use words if necessary" is like saying "feed the hungry, use food if necessary".
You gotta open your mouth and say something, and if you can't bring yourself to do that, then just hand them a tract, and if you can't bring yourself to do that, then just leave it somewhere.  
If you live in Omaha I'll give 'em to ya for free if you promise to share them.  
I'll even give you Bibles.
Not even joking..

I don't know what I did to deserve it;
but I'm getting a serious stink-eye from Gunner

We found a HUGE homeless camp today.  Didn't take any pictures but I will when we take them stuff tomorrow.  We have a dozen tarps, some winter clothes and food to take to the camp but they really need blankets. They live out there in makeshift tents made of tarps and cardboard and it's already freezing at night, so if anyone in Omaha is looking for a reason to clean out their linen closets  please let me know..  
We will pick them up and take them to the camp.
Anything helps!

Nov 18, 2017


They want to transfer Clay to Canada but I don’t think he’s going to agree. 
They want him to do the same job, but they want to pay him half his salary to do it.  From what I gather, they don’t think he will either.  
The people in Colorado still want him so unless he finds something else soon I assume he’ll be going there.  He doesn't seem too concerned about it so I won't be either.
It will mess things up at home a little and some adjustments will have to be made but it’s doable.

Now, Ligonier.
There are a few people who read my blog who have said that they would like to take a some Bible courses but either can't afford it or just can't fit it into their schedules because of work and/or family and stuff like that.  
So, I wanted to tell you about Ligonier Connect.  
Ligonier is an accredited and renown seminary founded by R.C Sproul.  They have amazing teachers  like Sinclair Ferguson, Stephen Nichols, and Steve Lawson (who is number 1 on my top 3 list of best Bible teachers alive today). 
If I ever decide to go back to school for the bomb diggity of theology degrees, this is definitely the school I would go to.  
Anyway..  Ligonier Connect.  
You can take a bunch of courses and learn a bunch of stuff from a bunch of fantastic teachers for $9.00 a month.

I'm not telling you about this because I get any credit or money or free courses or anything.  I'm telling you because it's an opportunity (a great opportunity) to dig deeper into scripture and learn some things you might not have had the opportunity to learn at your church.
Stuff like the WCF and why it's so important, the Reformation and what really happened (lots of churches that tell you that Martin Luther nailed something to a door but they don't really tell you why or even what it said).  There are other courses too; particular books of the Bible, Apologetics, Prayer, The Sermon on the Mount, Holiness of God, Biblical Interpretation, just LOTS of stuff..
It's not time consuming or particularly difficult either.  Each course has about 8 to 12 lessons, they are all on video (about 25 to 30 minutes long) there isn't a lot of reading unless you want to read a lot, optional discussion questions, and a refresher quiz at the end of each lesson.

Each course is accredited so if you wanted to, you could use them towards a degree (or not, whateves).
I do a lesson every day.  Right now I'm doing The Whole Christ by Sinclair Ferguson because it's what Clay's men's group is studying at church Tuesday mornings.  It's about the Marrow Controversy.  I've done 2 lessons in the series so far.  It's so good!
So..  CLICK HERE to check it out.
You won't be sorry :)

Nov 16, 2017

Favorite things..

 My favorite picture this week.  
I had just read an article from a 'dog expert' saying that dogs don't like to be hugged.  As I was telling Sky about it, Gunner crawled into her lap so she could hug him.  I think I should send this picture to the woman who wrote the article.
By the way, he's a year old now!

My favorite Moleskine journal.  I love these.  This is my third one.  Gunner chewed on my first one (but I used it anyway) but so far this one is my favorite.  I use them for bible study, church notes, and a prayer journal.
I get them from Missional Wear. Go see if there is anything you like, especially if you have a weird obsession with journals and reformed authors ;)

This devotional. It is the best I have ever read and I plan on reading it again when I'm finished, and then again. And again..  And so on..
There are three devotionals I would recommend; two are by Spurgeon and then this one.  The Valley of Vison is a book of Puritan prayers and meditations- not the weird "ooomm shallaboom" chanting while you clear your mind meditations (that's bad) but the- sit quietly and contemplate the words meditations.
I don't like other devotional books because they are usually centered on the reader; building up their self-esteem, reminding them of how great they are (how special, how important, blah blah blah).  Even devotionals with a bible verse in each daily entry are about how the verse applies to you- how to defeat the Goliath in your life, tearing down your Jericho (that's all wrong by the way) and don't even get me started on Jesus Calling!
But this book is different.  
Trust me!
I got the leather-bound copy from my church bookstore but you can get it on Amazon.  You can get it in paperback too.
For reals..  Get this book!  I promise you won't regret it.

Brown pens.  
I dunno, just been liking brown pens lately.
They go with my journals I guess?

A few months ago I posted that I really liked SenGence hand lotion.  Well I got a sample of 417 in the mail and I like it even better, so I ordered more on Amazon.  It's even a few dollars cheaper :)

This is my second favorite picture this week.  Steve Lawson on the back of a motorcycle on his way to preach at a church in Indonesia.
If you don't know who Steve Lawson is, you really should find out.  He's an amazing teacher.

My new study bible.
Ok, this isn't really a picture of my study bible because it's in the other room and I don't wanna go get it but it looks exactly like mine.
The Charles Spurgeon Study Bible.
Alistair Begg (another good teacher) put it together with Spurgeon's bible study and sermon notes.  I've thumbed through it but I haven't used it to study yet, I'm waiting for Clay to get home so we can add it to our daily bible-study. I learn so much more when Clay is home.
The cover matches the cover of my Lost Sermons of Charles Spurgeon (vol. 1) which is super cool!
Volume 2 is out now.  
And Present Day is coming up.

I guess that's it..

Oh, I got a text from Clay at 2:20 this morning, he was in Paris and said he would be getting on the plane in 20 minutes.  I think he's landing in Minneapolis?
Anyway, he'll be home today..

Nov 15, 2017


Not much noise happening around here..  
I missed my Aussie group and my Reformed Christian group on FB so I unfriended everyone on my friend's and now I only see posts from those groups.
Well, everyone but Clay and Sky.
So, if you see my picture in the 'friend suggestions' section don't get offended that we aren't FB friends. I don't like a lot of what I read on my newsfeed and I don't like how I react to it. Plus, admit it, lots of y'all don't like what I post either.  
So nothing personal. 
I'm on Twitter and you can text me anytime.
Just don't call because I don't answer the phone unless it's Clay or my doctor ;)

I haven't heard from Clay since Monday.  My phone says he hasn't received my texts and he hasn't answered my e-mails.  I'm telling myself it's an internet issue.  They shut down the internet in Equatorial Guinea during the election so maybe that is whats happening.  He is supposed to be home tomorrow so hopefully he's on a plane right now and will text when he lands in Paris. 

So, what have I been up to since I stopped checking FB every 5 minutes?
Well, I have finished a class on Luther and the Reformation and started a class on the life and teaching of Paul. 

I've mopped the floor a bazillion times because there are muddy paw prints everywhere.

I'm reading 3 books: The Gospel's Power & Message by Paul Washer, Lectures to My Students by Charles Spurgeon, and The Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan (again).

Sky and I are watching the final season of Bones, and we have started watching 'The Gifted'.

I think that's it.

Oh, I've started planning Thanksgiving dinner too.  Kinda..
Clay will actually be home for Thanksgiving this year and Sky said she wanted to have a big dinner so I'm on Pinterest a lot looking for ideas.  I want to do traditional-different this year.  Traditional Thanksgiving food but prepared differently. 
I gotta tell ya, there are some weird Thanksgiving recipes on Pinterest.  Like pomegranate stuffing.  Who wants to crunch down on pomegranate seeds while eating stuffing?
Maybe I will go super traditional and cook stuff from the original Thanksgiving?  Like Lobster!
Except I can't bring myself to kill a lobster in my kitchen..
I guess I'm going to go browse Pinterest some more..

Happy Wednesday!

Nov 14, 2017


Just so you know...

Nov 10, 2017


A lot of people have a lot of wrong information about Martin Luther.
And John Calvin.

I prefer brown ink over blue or black.

There are people in this world who enjoy arguing.  
Some of them even become annoyed when no one argues back.
I really need to remember this and to try my hardest not to be one of them.

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I like The Orville.

I love my dog so much that I sacrifice my own personal comfort so he's happy.
I wish I did the same for people.

 I don't often truly appreciate how much my mother-in-law loves me.  I need to be better about that.

Psalm 119 is amazing.  If you haven't studied it you're missing out. 

My spine, hips and hands hurt so much that I wanna scream sometimes.
But there is noticeable improvement in other areas and I'm feeling a little more energetic so I think it's a fair trade :)

Reformed Roasters makes super yummy coffee.
I'm not just saying that because of the word Reformed.

Not everyone shares the same opinion of what is and is not good produce.
The people who shop for and deliver my groceries do not share my opinion.
I'm gonna have to suck it up and do my own grocery shopping.

My Dia & Co. box came yesterday.  Adorable jacket and super comfy sweater.  I sent the other 3 pieces back though.  $78 is a bit much for a blouse no matter how cute it is.

I studied the Roman Catholic Church's merit system yesterday.  Blew my mind.  Seriously crazy stuff!

I'm more sensitive to the cold since I started the infusions.  Isn't that weird?

Did you know that you can use your cellphone as a DirectTV remote?
I only know that because Gunner ate mine.

Winston Churchill once escaped from a prison camp.

It makes me sad that I can count on one hand the number of people I know personally who will share the gospel with a stranger.
(3 people)

I wish there were more seasons of Bones.

Melania Trump wore flats yesterday.
Apparently this is news.

We still don't know if Clay will have a job next week.
Weird that I'm not freaking out about it.
I'm not worried at all.  
What's up with that?

Nov 6, 2017


 26 people ages ranging from 5 to 73 were murdered in their church yesterday and still the biggest story in this country is how House of Cards will continue without Kevin Spacey. 

Oct 20, 2017


Remember in my last post when I said that they did some coring and decided to keep production in Equatorial Guinea going? Well about a half an hour before Clay‘s plane landed in Equatorial Guinea Exxon decided to shut down production anyway. He is out on the rig right now capping off the well and then has to redistribute all of the equipment to other yards.  So as of this moment if nothing else comes up Clay will be unemployed in about two weeks. 

They are trying to transfer him to a different location but don’t know yet if that particular country will agree to let him in. Not that there is any reason why they shouldn’t, but countries in Africa are weird so we never know. He has to prove to them that his knowledge and experience will be an asset to production in that country and it absolutely will because no one has the knowledge and experience that Clay does. But again, Africa is weird. So we won’t know until we know and we probably won’t know until the day he is scheduled to leave Equatorial Guinea and put on a plane to wherever.  

That’s life in the patch..

Oct 17, 2017

Bathroom is finished!

It was a lot of work but Clay finished Sky’s bathroom. He had an extra week at home and good thing too because he wouldn’t have finished otherwise.  To tell you the truth, we weren’t sure if he was going back to work at all for the past few days. He got an email from his boss telling him not to get on the plane that he was scheduled for because Exxon was considering shutting down the contract in Equatorial Guinea. So Clay stayed home while they did some coring (it’s what they do to see whether or not an area will produce oil) and they found some so they called Clay back to work. So for right now he has a job for another month. After that we don’t know. It was kind of funny though, we were pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to finish the bathroom before he was scheduled to go back to work and then he got an extra week. Yesterday he finished the bathroom and got an email telling him to get on a plane today. Perfect timing!

So, the bathroom. 

Before pictures-

We noticed a little bit of water damage around the outside of her shower so Clay pulled the whole thing out and found that one of the walls was pretty damaged and there was mold starting to grow. Apparently whoever put the shower in just used regular drywall rather than the cement wall stuff you are supposed to use when installing a shower. 

So Clay ripped out the walls and replaced everything (the right way).  It was a lot of work re-tiling the whole shower plus he extended it several inches to make more room and even built shelves. The diamond pattern around the top of the shower took him the longest, he said the tiles were a “bitch to cut”   but the floor was pretty simple :)

So anyway, after pictures-

Clay did some plumbing (which he absolutely hates to do) and moved the sink over to make more room and Sky painted everything a more cheerful color (she said the other color made it look like a prison bathroom).

I gotta give Sky credit too, she did quite a bit of work herself once her dad showed her how. So now I have a husband AND a daughter who knows how to tile. :)

Happy Tuesday!

Oct 9, 2017

I am a Spoonie..

I’m sick and I’m tired and I’m sick and tired of pretending that I’m not sick and tired. 

The whining begins here, so feel free to skip this post..

Seriously, I’m about to lay it all out..  
The whole truth..

I am not a recluse who never answers the phone or goes anywhere because I’m so introverted that I simply cannot handle talking to people. 
No, I rarely leave the house and I ignore the phone because I just don’t have the energy. 
My condition has worsened, quite a bit. It not only affects my digestive system now but my joints, my muscles, my liver, and my kidneys. 
It takes me five times as long, five times the energy and five times the strength to do an activity that any normal person can do easily. 

For example: 
I have my groceries delivered because because by the time I have gone to the store, filled the cart and paid for everything, I struggle to get back to the Jeep. Then I sit in the Jeep and wait for my heart to stop pounding while trying to catch my breath and build up the energy to load the groceries into the Jeep before I can drive home. 
You wouldn’t believe how long it takes me to get all of the groceries into the kitchen so I can put them away. 
Most days I don’t leave the house because I know that I will have to face the stairs to get back into my house when I get home. 

When people learn that I do not work outside the home or have small children to raise, they usually ask me “then what do you actually DO all day?" (they say it just like that).
I tell them that I clean all day. 
Then they give me that look that says “you don’t have children messing up your house, tons of laundry to do every day, kids to drive around everywhere so how much cleaning do you really have to do?”.
The answer is, very little.  Just normal upkeep that would take any other person maybe an hour or two. 
But when you have a very limited amount of energy and everything you do is painful, small every day tasks take considerably longer. Plus it takes a good half an hour to an hour resting in between those small tasks to build up the energy to do another one. 

When I do plan to go somewhere. I know that I will need to conserve my energy for a couple days leading up to it.
This Friday I am going to the Orpheum with a friend to see Finding Neverland. I am excited to go but the dread of the stairs I will have to climb makes my excitement wane a little. 

But I’m tired of making excuses every time someone asks me to come over, or have lunch, or go shopping. 
I’m not busy and I don’t have a prior engagement. 
I just don’t have the energy.
It’s that simple. 

Ok. So there it is. I'm sick and I'm getting worse.

I am starting a new treatment soon that will hopefully force this condition into remission. I’m taking more meds (8 pills a day now!) and I’m hoping that the vitamin injections will give me more energy too. 
So it’s not all bad. 

As crazy as it sounds, I’m thankful for all of it. Isn’t that the weirdest thing?  
My priorities have changed, things that were a big deal to me before are not now, and I'm learning how to say ‘No’. 
My prayer life is so different than it used to be; what I pray for, who, and why. How long or how often I pray, and the changes that are happening within myself because of it. 

 I have lots of time to read and study, and everything I learn seems so much more significant to me than it used to. Before it was just information. Just more stuff I knew. But now?  It means something. It means something to me.  Personally.
 You know?
Maybe you don’t. I’m not sure I’m explaining it correctly?
Particular passages in the Bible have become more significant to me and I do find a comfort in reading scripture that I never had before. 

So life isn’t all bad. In fact, in some ways it’s quite a bit better. 

Happy Monday!

P. S.  I will blog more positive stuff soon. Promise!

P.S. Wondering what a 'Spoonie' is?

Oct 6, 2017

One more thing..

My case manager just called. My vitamin D levels are nonexistent. I also have extremely low vitamin B12 levels. 

So I get to give myself shots.

With a regular syringe, not even an EpiPen. 

And take a lot more pills.


She scheduled my first four IV infusions and I start them on the 18th. The Remicade will hopefully cause my immune system to back off but apparently that also means that I will be highly susceptible to flu and pneumonia, so guess what? Yeah, more shots. 

Super fantastic. 

I’m not gonna lie.  I’m feeling sort of overwhelmed with everything that needs to be organized and scheduled and remembered. 

I even cried a little.

Just a little though. 


Done. Again..

The procedure went well.
I was pretty nervous about it.  
I was expecting to wake up in recovery after having emergency surgery but fortunately I didn't.
I was also expecting to wake up in a lot of pain and that didn't happen either.
They managed to stretch the scar tissue so hopefully that will provide some relief until the Remicade.

Now I'm just waiting for my insurance to give the OK for the I.V. infusions.
I talked to my case manager the other day.
Yeah, I have a case manager now.  You have to have a case manager when you start Remicade.
She's wonderful! And she handles everything.
Seriously, everything.  I don't even call the doctor, his nurse, the front desk, nothing.  I just call her.  She will be handling my meds, infusions, appointments, procedures, everything.  
Even my diet.

And let me tell you about my diet.
I'm sorta angry about it.
Not the new diet, but I'm angry that I've been doing what my doctor told me to do for about 2 years now in order to loose weight and be healthier when all this time it's been making everything worse and causing me to gain weight!

So my doctor said to do the low carb/high protein/high fat/whole grains thing.
Not too much fruit because of the sugar, lots of raw veggies, high fiber, blah blah blah.
No pasta, potatoes, bread, white rice, etc..
Which is all well and good.  If you are a normal person who can digest stuff properly.
But I can't digest the normal low carb, paleo diet stuff.  So instead of going through my system, the food just sits there.  And what happens when the food in your body had no where to go?
Yep, eventually your body absorbs it and it turns into fat.  Plus, with the strictures (constriction and scar tissue throughout my intestines) the food has even more time to just sit there and turn into fat.  

While all this extremely hard to digest food is slowly traveling though my already inflamed and incredibly sensitive intestines, it's also scratching and tearing the tissue causing even more strictures.. 

So, what should I be eating?  Pretty much everything I thought I shouldn't be.
White bread, pasta, refined grains, plenty of cheese, lots of fruit (I hate fruit) and white rice.
Plus the stuff that hadn't changed: no corn syrup, nothing artificial, nothing fried, more fish and poultry, less beef and pork, no corn syrup, no artificial sweeteners, nothing specifically made to be "low fat" or "sugar free", honey instead of sugar, TONS of water, and lots of probiotics and green tea.
Oh, I can't have raw veggies anymore.  That's a serious bummer.  And I have to peel everything. 

So that's that.

Did I mention that Clay was remodeling Sky's bathroom?
I'll post pictures when it's finished.

Oh, I think Sky is going to be promoted again soon.  She said something about it yesterday but I was still drugged from the procedure and don't remember exactly what she said..  So I'll blog about that later too.