Consider the Lilies..   

Sep 22, 2017

All done.. Sorta..

The procedure went well.
Kind of.  
There was too much scar tissue and constriction for the camera to go all the way through so I have a few more tests to go do.
No one told me that the doctor would be taking several large biopsies during the procedure so I woke up in quite a bit of pain and spent the rest of the day in bed.
But I'm much better today.
So at the moment I still don't know anything.
Except that I can't go to Israel in February.
I'm seriously bummed about it, but what can ya do?
If I need to be put on a biological treatment program it will take a few months to get regulated and hopefully forced into remission and I will need to stay close to my doctors. If I need surgery, it will be a major surgery, lots of recovery time, and I'll need to stay close to my doctors.

Clay took Buster to the vet last Thursday.  
It was so sad and really hard on Clay.
And then today we got a card from the vet with Buster's little paw prints on it.
I'm glad they did that but it sorta made be bawl like a two year old..

Sep 19, 2017

Dang it..

I went to my first in a series of appointments with my G.I. team yesterday.  The steroids aren't working and my regular meds aren't doing enough on their own.  I'm still having pain every day and now it's not regulated to just one area..

So, today I start a two-day prep for another colonoscopy.  Dang it.  Normally a two-day prep really isn't two days because the average person starts prepping at 1:00 in the afternoon and they start out on a low residue diet that morning.  
But because I'm just super special, I get to skip the actual eating and go straight to clear fluids and 2 bottles of magnesium citrate-

before I even get started on the whole gallon of GaviLyte-N.

Don't you wish you were me?

The G.I.'s are pretty sure that more healthy tissue has turned to scar tissue and that the Crohn's has become more serious causing more damage. They said that I will most likely need to be put on a treatment program and add Humira or Remicade to my current daily drug cocktail..
Yay me!

Apparently the treatment isn't going to be as easy as I thought.  I figured that I would just up my fiber and probiotic intake, walk more, drink more water and everything would be fine.
See, I also figured that since I wasn't in excruciating pain every day that I was in remission.
No one told me I was, I just assumed.  
Turns out, I have never been in remission. 
Not alerting my doctors when I am experiencing pain and only going to the hospital when the pain has become unbearable and the vomiting won't stop isn't a good plan either..

But why assume?
Well, probably because no one wants to believe that they really are suffering from a serious disease I guess.  
I mean, if you take your meds every day the symptoms go away, then everything is fine and life is good right?
Besides.  It's just Crohn's.  
That's always been my mindset.
"Just Crohn's"
And what is Crohn's anyway?  It's IBS, just a little more serious..
That's not true AT ALL, but that's what I've been telling myself for the last 6 years.
It's really an auto-immune disease that causes your immune system to literally attack your own body because it thinks it's saving you, when in reality it's slowly but surely beating the hell out of you. 

I mean look, I'm epileptic and I'm ok.  
Epilepsy is huge, but I handle it pretty well.  I'm not even on seizure meds anymore and haven't been for years.  We figured out what triggers the seizures, and now I just avoid those things.
Easy peasy.

So I thought we could do the same thing with Crohn's.
And because of that mentality I will be going in for my FOURTH colonoscopy on Thursday to see how much damage has been done, what can be done to stop it or at least slow it down, whether or not I will need to have surgery, and then most likely start a treatment program that involves giving myself bi-weekly injections..
So basically, this is all pretty much my fault.
Dang it again.

Ok.  That's all for now.  I have a bunch of disgusting liquid to drink.
I promise my next posts will be updates and not pity parties..

Happy Tuesday!

Sep 13, 2017


I spent a couple nights in the hospital again.
Went to the Emergency Room around midnight on Sunday because I couldn't handle the pain and the vomiting anymore..
I had an MRI and several X-rays that showed inflammation and more scar tissue.
So they admitted me again.
This time they put a tube in my nose, down my throat, and into my stomach to pump out whatever was left.
Which was nothing.  How could there be after 4 hours of barfing?
The tube was horrible, I had to be sedated so I would stop freaking about about it.  After 12 hours I told them if they didn't remove it, I was going to to remove it myself.  They weren't happy about it but they did.

Apparently my meds aren't working even at the highest dosage and everything has been inflamed for quite some time.  It's gotten bad enough now that blockages are pretty much inevitable..
I haven't been on track like I should be either..  I'm supposed to be doing my stretches every day, walking every day, eating way more of what I should and way less of what I shouldn't.  OK not less, but none.

So the plan-
I have several appointments with my G.I. team (yep, I have a whole team) for more tests so they can come up with a new treatment plan to hopefully force me into remission.
I'm on steroids for the next four weeks.  I hate steroids!
I'm not reacting to them well at all.  I never do (who does?) but it's worse this time.  
I increase my probiotic intake, eat more fruit (yuck) cook my veggies (darn it) and drink at least a gallon of liquid every day.
Plus the stretches and walking.

Thank God for Sky!
She took 2 days off work to take care of the dogs, and the house, and made several trips to the hospital to bring me stuff and run errands.  I don't know what I'd do without her sometimes.
Clay will be home tomorrow!

Aug 20, 2017


Nothing much going on.
Seriously, nothing.  

Clay was on a rig for a week so he couldn't call home.
That kind of sucked.

There was a storm last night with lots of lightning.
Didn't sleep well because Gunner is afraid of the thunder and kept crawling under the covers every time there was a noise, and I woke up with a terrible headache.
I'm not going to church today because I can still feel the electricity in the air (it's an epilepsy thing) and I don't want to have a seizure at church, at least not without Clay there.
Instead I am watching debates for and against infant baptism.

I went back and re-studied eschatology.  Again.
And the Pentateuch.
Because I like to punish myself I guess.
I'm moving on to Prophets, Poetry, & Wisdom tomorrow.
I just saw that there was a KJV-only debate so I might look into that.
Meh, I'll do both.

Well, so far this is a pretty boring blog post isn't it?

I finished a blanket yesterday.
I made it for myself.  I had a bunch of extra yarn and figured why not?  Nothing fancy but it matches the couch and who doesn't like to snuggle under a blanket and watch Netflix?
I started one for Elaine yesterday too.
I think I'll make one for Vickie when I'm finished with Elaine's.
Have I said that before?
Hey Vickie, what's your favorite color?

I'm making plarn too.  Plastic yarn.
I'm going to make sleeping mats for the homeless out of plastic grocery bags.
Like this:

I just found another debate on YouTube.  Reformed Christianity (James White)  VS. Mormonism (Martin Tanner).
I don't think I'm going to get much done today.

Aug 6, 2017

Thought bubbles..

The Jolly Ball is the perfect outdoor dog toy.
Keisel isn't an outdoor dog, just the ball :)
There isn't any air in it so it can't deflate no matter how many times they puncture it.
Unlike the soccer blob.

I'm really enjoying the courses I'm taking. 
I even sort of liked the study on Job.
It helps when the teacher has a cool accent.

Clay is on a plane to Ethiopia right now.
He promised me that he isn't sitting next to a goat.

Sky has been working with fire 12 hours a day, 6 days a week in a non-air conditioned area.  Her arms are burned, her hands hurt, and she's been limping pretty hard on her bad knee for the past 4 days.
She hasn't complained once. 
She is definitely her father's daughter.

Aussies howl.
A lot.
It's adorable.

We still don't know if Clay is going to work in Colorado, Ghana, Iraq, some other crazy location, or if he will have a job at all after this hitch.
Nothing is certain in the oil field until it is.
I'm usually worried by this point.
But I'm not.

I finished Alyssa's blanket finally.
So I started working on the one for my bed.
I've been working on it on and off for about a year.
Then I looked at all the extra yarn I have and started another one.

I realized recently that life has become much easier for me during the past 2 years.
I don't mean financially or anything like that.  We still have bills, unforeseen problems still arise, Clay's future employment is uncertain, I have health issues that are not improving, etc..
 But I'm not worried.  I'm not angry.  I don't have anxiety waiting for the next bad thing to happen.  Things that offended me, annoyed me, or flat out pissed me off don't even bother me anymore.
There is no stress.
No drama.
I'm happy, but it's more than that.  
I have peace. It's crazy weird.
I think maybe, that when you not just understand the sovereignty of God but accept it as absolute truth; life is just different you know?
Actually now that I think about it, I'm certain of it.

Happy Sunday. 

Jul 15, 2017


The bathroom is finished :)

So..  The floor before:

And the floor after:
I know I've already posted pictures of the floor but Clay did such a great job that I'm posting another one.

The vanity (he put the baseboards on right after I snapped the pic).

The sink (duh)

The absolutely adorable faucet.  
I took the picture with the water running because I like how it pours out like a miniature water pump).

He even got new towel holders that match the faucet :)

Medicine cabinet (and other new towel rack, lol)

And this...
Go ahead and judge if you want, but I'm gonna tell y'all straight out; if you don't have one of these, you need to get one.  For reals.
I am not ashamed ;)

So that's it.  The bathroom is finished, and my husband is the most amazing guy on the planet.

Jul 14, 2017

Floor is finished :)

The bathroom floor is finished!

He finished laying the tile Wednesday evening

Then did all the other stuff yesterday

And he put in the new toilet..  YAY!

He did such a good job.  I really don't think there is anything he can't do..
He put the new vanity/sink in yesterday but it's not completely hooked up yet.  He still needs to touch up some paint, put the medicine cabinet in, put a seal on the floor, and put in the new towel racks and stuff like that. Oh, and put the baseboards back on.
He still has three weeks left at home so I might have to find more stuff for him to do so he doesn't get bored :)

I finished Alyssa's blanket, nothing at all compared to remodeling a whole bathroom but hey, I did something!
Oh, I also finished my eschatology course (finally!) and started a course on the Sermon on the Mount.  After all the amill, postmill, premill, pretrib, midtrib, posttrib, preterist, futurist, dispensationalist, historical, etc. I'm more than ready to move on to something else!
Besides, who doesn't love the sermon on the mount?  I've taken 2 other courses on it but I know I'll learn something new; plus this course is taught by Sinclair Ferguson.  Bonus!

Sky is having her stitches removed today.  Did I blog about that?  
She got hurt at work. Again.  Dropped a huge piece of metal on her hand. Again. 
Wrapped it with packaging tape and went back to work. Again.
Came home thinking it was no big deal. Again.
And then went to the hospital because her dad told her she needed stitches. Again.
I'm telling ya, she really is the toughest girl on the planet.

She started doing yoga yesterday, even though she calls it "stretching" because according to her she's not a "grass-juice drinking hippie who spends my time aligning stupid chakras and all that crap"..
Gunner likes to help.

Clay will be going back to Angola for at least one more hitch, and then after that we aren't sure what is going to happen.  Right now it looks like either Other Africa or Colorado.  He said something about Iraq and I think Pakistan?  To tell you the truth, I never know (and won't know) until he gets a work VISA in the mail.
That's life in the oilfield y'all.