Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
How often do we (wives) decide that we know what the role of the head of the house/spiritual leader should look like and how many of us have thought that we are responsible for shaping and molding them into our idea of that role so that when we have achieved that, then we can begin to submit to their leadership?
In other words; "Once you start leading the way I think you should, then I will start following."
My husband and I are very different when it comes to our spiritual lives.. I am intellectual, structured, disciplined, and I believe that everything should be done a certain way at a certain moment, and for a certain amount of time.. I have a closer connection to God when I read and study the word.. Some feel close when
they sing, or spend time outdoors, listen to worship music, or just sitting quietly by themselves.. But not me.. When I read the Word I feel His presence, I hear Him speak to me, I receive revelation, conviction, and answers to my prayers.. I love; absolutely love to read the Word, because when I do, God is more real to me than ever..
My husband is very laid back, nothing really bothers him, he does things in his own time, for as long or as little as he chooses.. Though he is one of the smartest men I know, he is not a bookworm, he
doesn't study, or live by a schedule.. He enjoys change and despises routine.. He feels closer to God when he is actively doing something; working, mentoring, building something, etc.. He doesn't spend time in one place doing one thing for very long..
I read/study for 3 hours every day.. My husband reads for maybe 20 minutes in the morning. When I pray, my prayers are long, detailed, and cover just about everything.. When he prays, his prayers are short, simple and to the point..
Many times I have thought (and said to him) that as the spiritual leader and the head of our house, that he should read at least as long as I do (if not more) so he would know more, be more disciplined, set an example, blah blah blah.. I have made remarks about his short, simple prayers.. I would say stuff like "That's it? Don't you have any more to add?"
Until last night I didn't realize that I was actually criticising him.. Not until God
He said: "Instead of trying to make your husband into the spiritual leader you think he should be so that you can follow him. Submit to who he is now because he is your husband.. 'do not just read my Word, do what it says'."
Don't get me wrong.. We don't argue, I don't openly defy him or try to control him.. But my thoughts and behaviors, and my criticisms toward his way of doing things where his spiritual life is concerned was not honoring to him.. My thoughts and actions were not submissive to him, nor were they honoring or obedient to God..
I sat up in bed and thought about what an awesome man my husband is.. Selfless, attentive, strong, even tempered, and an excellent provider.. He's a loving and involved father, a supportive and doting husband, and a loyal friend.. He goes out of his way to do whatever for whoever and doesn't expect so much as a 'thank you', or even a 'good job' in return.. He refuses to be out-served by anyone at home, and jumps at the chance to help anyone he can; financially, emotionally, or physically.. He has never, and I mean never raised his voice to me or Sky.. He truly is an incredible guy that God saw fit to bless me with..
I have talked to so many women who have said that they will submit when their husbands learn how to lead, how to be responsible, how to be more this, or more that..
But that's not what the Bible says.. It doesn't say "submit to your husband when you decide he's deserving of it."
It says "submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord".
I know now that there is more to it than just submitting outwardly.. It means inwardly too.. In our minds and our hearts..
Because God said so..
My friend Michell added this in her comment.. I absolutely love what she said, so I'm quoting here so you don't miss it :)
"It's better that our husbands job be done badly by him, than to be done excellently by us!"
Michell @ Prowess and Pearls