Consider the Lilies..: Could it be... You?   

Nov 27, 2012

Could it be... You?

If you have been wronged in several relationships or betrayed by so-called friends; if people always seem to pull away from you or avoid you for reasons that you can't explain, then maybe there’s something about you that needs to be changed?  Think about it, if you enter into five relationships and sooner or later they all end the same or in a similar way, the common denominator in those situations is you.. 
Think of it as a mathematical equation, you are the constant..  Who ever enters and leaves your life are the variables, the variables may change continuously but the constant always remains the same..  Maybe that’s the problem.

Self examination has never been easy and coming to the realization that you may be less than perfect is a hard pill to swallow.   Denial is not a river in Egypt and everybody other than you is not crazy..  Get up, look in the mirror and ask yourself some questions..  Ask yourself what role you might have played in alienating the people around you..  Ask yourself why after all these years and all these failed friendships, why you can't seem to find one that lasts?  If you answer those questions honestly, you may find that the answer is you..  Recognizing these truths about yourself and seeking to change them might be the answer to that one thing you just can't put your finger on, "Why do so many of my friendships fall apart?"..
One would think that with change being the only true constant that exists we would be a little more open to it, but sadly it is not so..  They say doing the same things in the same way and expecting a different result is a sign of insanity..  Refusing to recognize your flaws and do what needs to be done to correct them amounts to you doing the same things in the same way..  If it hasn't worked by now, it's not going to..  

It can't always be the other person can it?  The reality is that nobody wants to be that honest with themselves..  It seems much more desirable to lie you yourself by telling yourself that you are the normal one and everybody else has a problem, right?  If everyone would just see it your way, then surely they would see that you are right..  And maybe even thank you for your insight..  Right?  (doubtful)

Accepting that you could be the problem really isn't so bad..  In fact, it could help you keep the relationships you have now, possibly patch up ones you lost in the past, and maybe even secure more in the future..  It seems to me that one would have a simple choice to make; you can take a closer look at yourself and maybe realize that you could change a few things about your behavior which might result in some lasting and fulfilling relationships; or you could blame others for how they treat you, consider it 'their loss' when they leave you and continue to ask yourself why none of your friendships last..  
Up to you..


  1. It is so much easier to blame others for things that happen in our lives. I wish everyone had friends who were honest with each other in a loving way to point out our flaws.

  2. I think, even in a loving way, few would want someone to tell them how they are flawed.. I don't know how lovingly I would receive it.. Ya know? :)

  3. Great post Ren! It's tough to see our own faults but what a blessing when you do and can ask God to help you with those faults instead of trying to make everyone think the way you do or act they way we think they should.


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