For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
My husband has worked in the oilfield for 13 years.. Like anyone who spends a number of years in the oilfield, he's moved around a lot.. He has worked all over this country and in several countries overseas.. Some places have been safe locations, some have been sort of dangerous, some have been more than sort of..
But oilfield is what he does and it's what he loves..
For the past year and a half he has worked in Texas.. I have enjoyed this time immensely . I know he's not too far away, I know that he won't be on an airplane for 18 hours at a time flying over oceans and dangerous areas.. I can call him whenever I want and he's near his parents and his brothers when he is at work..
Last week my husband received four different job offers in four different locations.. Two of the locations are not so dangerous and two of them are.. The two that are dangerous locations are more dangerous than anywhere he has worked before (except when he was in the Marine Corps, but he had a sniper rifle and an M16 wherever he went)..
He will not make this decision on his own.. If I refuse to get on board with it, he will not go.. Of course I know what will make him happy, and I have always been 100% supportive of him and his decisions.. But this time? Well this time it's a little different..
I honestly didn't know what to do, so we decided to leave the decision up to God.. We (and all of our friends) have been praying for God to close the door on these offers if they are not where he is supposed to go.. Well, just a couple days ago we learned that all non-essential American personnel has been removed from one of the more dangerous locations he was offered.. OK, consider that door closed.. *insert enormous sigh of relief here*
However it doesn't look like the other location is going to shut down any time soon, and it's also the one that he really wants, and the one that the company has been pushing him to transfer to..
For days I have been on my porch praying for guidance, direction, and an answer.. Instead of an answer I got a question..
"How much are you really willing to let go of for me?"..
Now when I think about letting go of something, I think; If I let go of it, I'll loose it, If I let someone else have it, it won't be mine anymore.. And do you know what? Both are true.. If I let go of my husband, I could loose him.. If I give him up to God, he won't be mine anymore..
But if I am completely honest with myself, he never belonged to me in the first place.. He belonged to God first, he still does.. He is God's child.. God loves him far more than I ever could..
We have prayed, and continue to pray that God closes doors that need to be closed, and opens doors that need to be opened.. But what would be the point of praying if we were not going to trust God to open the right door? If He closes the door to the location that my husband would like to go to or the doors to the two I would like him to go to, then the doors are closed.. We won't push on them, we won't even jiggle the knobs to make sure they are really closed.. We will just move on..
But what if the dangerous door is the door He leaves open? Will I go back and try to push open one of the other doors? Will I slam the door shut and refuse to let him go? Or will I really let go of him and watch him walk through it?
I hope I will do what is expected of me.. If I want to be obedient, I will have to.. Even if I don't want to..
What about you? Is there anything you would not let go of? Even for God?