Aug 31, 2012
The odd one out..
From the moment my mother married my stepfather, Sue became her target.. She was horrible to Sue and because my mother was horrible to her, my siblings and I were also.. We treated her terribly and my mother encouraged it..
Growing up, Sue lived a miserable life at home.. She was given the most difficult chores (including cleaning up after MY dog), she was yelled at by all of us, and put down constantly.. We ridiculed her, we were hurtful to her, and even ignore her on the school bus and in hallways at school..
Nothing she did was ever good enough for my mother.. My mother picked at her, looked for things to blame her for, never spent any time with her, refused to show her any affection and never praised her for anything she did well.. Usually when she did something well, she was accused of trying to 'impress her daddy' or accused of trying to make the rest of us look bad.. And believe me, the rest of us didn't need any help doing that..
Sue would go to her father when my mother was mean to her and my stepfather would confront my mother.. I remember listening to several arguments between them about her.. He would accuse my mother of picking on Sue, and my mother would deny it and accuse Sue of trying to come between them.. Then when my stepfather wasn't around my mother would be even harder on her..
But after a few years my mother wore him down.. It got to the point where he would just tell Sue to stand up for herself, or to try harder not to give my mother a reason to be mean to her.. Eventually Sue stopped going to her father at all..
Sue could have done what many children do when they feel unloved.. She could have rebelled, run away, got mixed up with the wrong people.. She could have become defiant and made my mother's life miserable.. But instead she chose a different road.. She made it her goal to become everything my mother didn't want her to be.. My mother didn't want her to be successful, or happy, or loved.. My mother wanted her beaten down..
Sue rose above it all.. She did everything my mother demanded of her without complaint (it still wasn't good enough for my mother).. She got straight A's in school while my mother's children failed and all dropped out of school at 15..
She stayed home and studied while my mother's children partied and slept around..
When Sue was still a teenager she stopped looking for love and approval from her father and stepmother and found it from the parents of her best friend.. Basically she found a new family.. They gave her everything we did not.. Support, encouragement, and most of all love.. Now when she goes 'home' for the holidays, she goes to their house..
Sue is successful, happy, and truly is the best of all of us.. I can't begin to say how much I admire her..
But my mother is not the proud mother of this wonderful, successful person.. Someone else's mother is..
So why am I writing about this? I guess I'm writing to tell you that no one has to be the product of their environment if their environment is a bad one.. So many people today are unhappy, angry people who live like victims of their upbringing, blaming their childhood or circumstances for their behavior and failures..
But it doesn't have to be like that.. You can rise above it..
You can either believe what others say and think about you and wallow in your own misery and prove everyone right about you, or you can decide that what they think simply doesn't matter..
God created you for a reason, He created you for a purpose, a great purpose! People may look at you and see a failure or a screw-up, but when God looks at you He sees His beloved child..
If others refuse to see you the way God sees you, that's their shortcoming, not yours..
So be the person that God created you to be.. Not not the person others expect you to be..